Repair not Despair
The word for dharma in Tibetan is ཆོས་ (chö), which is related to the word འཆོས, which means to repair or to correct.
When I see those who consider themselves students of mine conducting themselves unskilfully, I may well tell them that they are doing wrong, with the hope that they will see why it is wrong and how it will cause themselves and others difficulties, and thus lead them to correct their way of thinking and behaving.
But some people totally miss the point and take it personally. In these instances the lama is not attacking the person but trying to guide that person to the fulfilment of their potential, the full manifestation of their buddha nature. The essence of buddha is present in all sentient beings, but is being obscured by the person’s mistakes and confusion.
So the lama must do what they can to help the student correct their mistakes, and if the student trusts the lama and makes the necessary changes, the previous criticism is no longer applicable. So it is not personal, because the person can transcend those mistakes and the suffering they cause, which is the sole desire of the lama.