The Most Important Things To Teach Children
Primary school teacher: What are the most important things to teach children?
Drupon Khen Rinpoche:
Based on my observations over the past thirty years in guiding people in the dharma, I have noticed that while adults may appear to be better learners, it is often more challenging for them to change their character and ways of thinking based on what they learn. Children, on the other hand, despite their difficulty in sitting still and listening attentively, possess a remarkable capacity to absorb whatever is presented to them when the environment is conducive. The potential for their development is immense. Therefore, as teachers working with young children, you have an excellent opportunity to positively influence their entire lives. The same applies to parents, who are naturally children’s most important teachers.
I believe that all parents love their children dearly but sometimes, out of their love, they may spoil their children by allowing them to do as they please and have whatever they desire. Children lack the ability to see beyond their immediate experience or to consider the bigger picture. So to act to fulfil their every wish is not very wise and will likely spoil them.
So, what should we teach our kids? Of course there is a lot they need to be taught, but two important things stand out to me.
First and foremost, we must teach children not to be selfish. We need to instil in them the importance of thinking about others, empathy for the hardships and difficulties others face, and a genuine wish to help them, from the smallest of insects to human beings.
No one likes selfish people. A self-centred child will struggle to make and maintain good friendships and they will find it more difficult to be happy. While a caring person tends to be popular and happy within themselves.
This relates to the second thing to teach children, which is to be content with what they have and not constantly yearn for more. It is crucial for them not to develop an attitude of never being satisfied. In truth, all we need is a bed to sleep in, enough food to fill our bellies and a set of clothes to keep us warm. This holds true even if we are very wealthy.
If children develop a habit of always wanting more and constantly seeking the newest and best, they will never find true, lasting happiness.
Therefore, we should find ways to teach our children to be satisfied with what they have and a sense of ease with whatever circumstances they encounter. This is particularly relevant in cities, where people are exposed to the wealth and resources enjoyed by others. It is easy for someone who desires what others possess to become miserable and experience mental difficulties. Even with all the external comforts, without a healthy mindset, true contentment will never be found.
So, these are the two main things that, in my opinion, we should teach our children. But how should we go about it? That is the next question, isn’t it.
Well, the most effective way to instil these attitudes in children is to embody them ourselves, rather than wagging a finger at them and telling them what not to do. As teachers and parents, we need to put our own whims aside and strive to become individuals who exemplify the qualities we would like to see embodied in our children.
May 2023, Dubai
Q&A with children, parents and teachers in an elementary school in Dubai
